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Writer's pictureJennifer Boyer

Well, Here We Are...

Updated: 15 hours ago

What do we do now?

I try to not get "too political" on this blog, because I don't want to get away from the mental health and creativity focus or alienate anyone who may be slightly less politically inclined. But, who we elected will have vast impacts on mental health throughout not only our own country, but others. Who we elected is going to have massive impact on who creates, how they create, and if they can continue to create. I spent the last couple of hours self medicating, gorging myself on cool ranch Doritos, cleaning my apartment, having a panic attack, screaming into a pillow, and then finally sitting down to write.


Much of my life I've worried what other people thought of me, if they liked me or not, and how I could change myself to better fit their ideal perception of me. Whether this is due to toxic abuse from someone with a large influence over my childhood and young adulthood, or just how I was born, I honestly will never truly know, but that was how I spent a lot of my pre-teen's, teen's, and early 20's. I twisted myself into knots to try to either impress people who didn't care, or to make people who treated me like garbage proud.


Unbeknownst to me, I had built up so much rage during that time that it would come out in random bursts, seemingly over nothing. I would punch walls, throw things across the room, scream, threaten fights with strangers, and of course get mad at whatever partner I was with at the time and blame it on some tiny thing they did. It took awhile for me to realize that I had grown up with that being normal behavior in the household...and that it wasn't normal. It took even longer for me to realize that the rage I had built up was only hurting one person - me. Somewhere in my brain, I thought that if I just got mad enough it would give me some magical power that would finally make people love me and care about my successes, and not just reprimand me for any mistakes. If I just got a little more mad, I would change the things that were making me have to work so hard for someone's approval. If I just got a little more mad, people would listen.


Did it work? NO. It destroyed me, though. It took years to get back some semblance of my actual personality. It took years to learn how to trust my own decisions, and even now, I'm still working on that. It took, and is taking, years to get to a point where I can feel anger, but not let it hurt me or others. People like to say "take the anger and turn it into action". But, I don't think that's the right way to look at it. If you feel anger about something, take the anger and turn it into curiosity. If you feel anger toward or about something, feel angry. But don't dwell in that space. Dwelling there longer than needed to understand it will only grow itself exponentially and it will start to consume you and cloud your judgment. We each need to be able to take a step back, look at the facts (although this can be hard with misinformation, resources like the AllSides Bias Checker help), and proceed in a way that doesn't screw over the planet or the other people and creatures we share it with.


For those of you who don't care about that, you should. We're all interconnected (whether through biodiversity, the spaces we share, or other ways), and if it isn't already abundantly clear, climate change is real, and humans are going to be the ones who are screwed if we don't take care of our environment and the creatures and plants we are dependant on. So, you should probably get more mad than you are.


But, I digress.


I guess what I'm saying is this: This is not the time to worry about being "too political". Many, if not most, of us have seen the impact that poor, neutral, or positive leadership can have. And if you haven't, that is called privilege. This is not the time to worry about what others think, or if it's impolite to bring up politics at the dinner table. But, this is also not a time for us to give in to the rage or the fear that I know so many of us are feeling. Doing so will only lead us down a dark path toward more inward and outward violence.


I hope that real love and truth are stronger in the end than any evil or misfortune in the world. - Charles Dickens

So, in a time where helplessness and hopelessness seems like it's going to be the norm for a bit, what can we do?

We can be vigilant.

We need to pay attention. Now more than ever. I know everyone's exhausted. But we can't afford ignorance anymore.

We can educate ourselves with objective sources and encourage others to do the same (and vote...because it does matter...it really does).

Be careful where you get your information and always check multiple sources (and any bias' they may have). It's better to spend a couple extra minutes on this now, than to live with the regret and consequences of uninformed action later (although this can be hard with misinformation, resources like the AllSides Bias Checker help).


We can donate our time and money to organizations that are still trying to do good in the world.

Donating to women's organizations, environmental organizations, and civil rights groups like the ACLU can help greatly during times of distress. And sell your Musk-mobile. Charity Navigator can help.


We can be careful about where we spend our money (AKA vote with our dollar).

You can see where companies donate to by using resources like BuyPartisan and Open Secrets Donor Lookup. If they are donating to candidates whose policies you don't support, you can simply not buy from them.


We can build community.

We still have free speech (at least for now). We can start YouTube channels, blogs, or podcasts to get our voices out there. We can create in person or Zoom meetups. We can join local organizations. There are so many people who are in the same boat as you, and we're not done!


We can volunteer in our local communities.

It doesn't even have to be official. We can walk around our neighborhood for an hour and pick up trash once a week, or even once a month. We can walk somewhere we normally drive. We can have a get together and collect food for pantries.


We can take care of ourselves and our families.

Prioritize self care. Put your oxygen mask on first before helping others. Then, help others. You're no good to any movement, or your family, if you're exhausted, malnourished, cynical, and stressed out.


We can vote in upcoming local elections.

It's not only the presidential election that matters. It's all elections. Make a plan to keep voting, and vote in your local elections. Many times, positive change can start at the local level.

We can volunteer for campaigns we care about.

Don't just look at volunteering for presidential campaigns. Volunteer for local political campaigns.

We can be active in our democracy and communicate with our leaders.

You can find your House Representative here, and your Senator here. Download a guide to communicating with elected officials (by the National Volunteer Fire Council) here.


It's never for nothing when you do the right thing...but disengaging completely gives them what they're looking for. Brian Tyler Cohen

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