The last year of my life has had so many ups and downs - losing a job, getting a new job, going through a breakup, moving to a new apartment - all while working 6 days a week and trying to build businesses and bands. It feels almost foreign to me to feel like I finally have my life together - at least for the most part. Yet, even so, I feel like I'm still working at it every day and somehow still doubt myself. Huge thank you goes out to my inner critic, Self Doubt, for those thoughts.
The good thing is that through all of Self Doubt's commentary, I have some people in my life who are able to point out how far I've ACTUALLY come in the last year. About a year ago today, I was working two part time jobs that made me feel like absolute hell about my life and where it was headed. I wasn't being creative, and while I thankfully had a couple of musical projects in my life, I wasn't inspired to improve my own playing or create anything new in that area. I was struggling massively with depression and anxiety, and while I was able to put on a smile in public, my private life felt like it was falling apart around me. For lack of a more melodramatic description, I felt like my world was crumbling and I was powerless to stop it.
When I remember this, I realize how far I've come to now be in three musical projects that I absolutely LOVE (My NextDoor Neighbor and subtrax being two of them), have a job that provides me with some flexibility (not to mention health insurance), have another that is actually fun and provides me with community, and finally live on my own - no roommates or anything! It helps to have people in your life who will point this out to you even when you don't believe in your own capabilities.
All that being said, I've learned a LOT over the last year, and found a few things that helped me "get my life together" while still being able to pursue my passions. That's the best part - you CAN get your life together, even while pursuing the things you love.
Before I begin, let's define "getting your life together", because that can mean a lot of things to a lot of people. To me, it means that you're able to take care of yourself, content, and working toward a goal (or goals) that you're passionate about. This is a constant checkin. It's not something that's going to happen overnight, and it's definitely not something that you do once and never have to think about again. But, with these tips, you can do this and your future self will thank you for it.
So, without further ado, here are my tips for getting your life together.
Figure out what you want and don't want in your daily life.
What's the point of aiming for a goal if you don't know what that goal is in the first place? Whether it's getting out of debt, finding a better job, getting in shape, or just feeling comfortable in your day to day life, you have to start with what you want in mind.
Declutter (literally and figuratively) everything you DON'T want.
Clutter is in all of our lives at a certain point.
Decluttering means getting rid of old stuff, true, but it also means:
Stop watching programs that make you feel bad (ie. stop watching news programs that bring in their own opinions, or report anything that's not useful to your daily life)
Decide whether or not toxic friendships or relationships are worth giving a chance to save, or let them go. Most times, I will say, it's better for everyone to just let them go.
Release any goals that may not be serving you right now. If you're anything like me, this one is a challenge because you have so much you want to do! But keeping a massive list of goals (either on paper or in your head) is mental clutter that will actually slow you down in achieving any goal to begin with. Take things one at a time, with the ones that will give you the most momentum first.
Get your finances in order.
Set up a high yield savings account if you don't already have one. Make a plan to pay off any high interest debt. Pick up a finance management book (bonus points if it's free from the library). Come up with some financial goals that you want to reach in the next month or year, and automate as much as you possibly can to reach those. If you're debt free, look into investing. Examine any self limiting beliefs you might have around money. What triggers you when you think about money? What were some of the things you were taught about money as a kid that might not be helping you anymore? The point is to keep learning as much as you can while making sure that your basic needs are taken care of, all so that you can grow and use that growth to help yourself and others.
Don't take your health for granted.
You likely already know the deal - eat healthy, drink water, workout. Focus on one of these habits and stick with it for a few weeks first, and then add in the rest. If you're not used to working out, start with daily walks. Take 30 minutes to set up doctor's appointments. I mean it. Right now. Set up a primary, dentist, and OBGYN (if you're a woman) appointment. If you want to go the extra mile, set up an appointment with a chiropractor or masseuse, too! AND PUT THESE IN YOUR CALENDAR...
Oh yeah, use a calendar or other planning system.
I use a mix of Google Calendar for work and iCal for everything else. I also make sure I put my work shifts in iCal. I started color coding everything, too, which REALLY helps with prioritizing tasks and making sure I have a good balance of activity - yellow for work, orange for friends, purple for music, green for anything health related, brown for anything around the house, etc.
You don't have to use an electronic system, but I find it easier since both calendars are easily accessible and editable from my phone (which I have with me pretty much all the time). I tried having a physical planner, but not only do they cost money, they're hard to have on the go.
Socialize with people you care about or admire at least once a week.
As an introvert, I struggled with this one the most. I love my alone time, but I realized that my mental health was suffering when I didn't hang out with other people outside of any work or goal-oriented meetups. Even if it's just meeting one other person for coffee, this will make a massive difference in your outlook on life and your overall mental health. Don't hang out with just anyone, though. As much as I'd love to be friends with pretty much everyone, if you prioritize time with people who make you feel bad about yourself in any way, this won't be as beneficial and can end up just making you feel worse. Be with people who you have a mutual relationship with, who value your time as much as you value theirs.
Have some sort of spiritual practice.
Note I didn't say "religious". No matter what your personal beliefs, we can all benefit from having quiet moments throughout the week to connect with something larger than ourselves. If that "something larger" is God for you, great. If it's the Universe, great. If it's the outdoors, great. Do something that makes you feel connected to the world outside yourself, while also bringing you more in touch with your innermost "higher being". I know this may sound "woo woo" to some of you, but I swear this has made such a huge difference in my life. Set aside time to just be.
Let me know what you think about these ideas in the comments! Are there any things I missed that you find really helpful?
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